You rancid piece of putrid horse diarrhea.
You could not be more stupid if you tried.
This holding is a Feline Supremacist Zone.
Cats here are treated and exalted as royalty.
The are offered every convenience and indulgence.
How dare the thought, let alone the action, of raising a hand to shove a cat off of their rightful claimed furniture ever occur in your turd of a brain.
We are not any other family.
Cats on furniture is not forbidden. It is encouraged, you useless fragment of impacted pig coprolite.
If you ever try that shit again, I hope the cats, suitably, and extremely offended, take the chance to flay you alive. Skin from muscle, muscle from bone.
You don't raise a FINGER to a cat here, you shit corn kernel of a brain barbarian.
Go to your richly deserved cat hater's hell, where all that awaits you are beady glowing eyes in the dark, and millions of claws and fangs chewing on your every nerve, every neuron, for all eternity. A pain so exquisite, it is always new, always fresh, always unrelenting.
Shit nut.