“What the hell is this?” I kick Justin in the side with my heel.
“What the fuck Haley?” He snaps in a sleep filled voice, rolling over on the bed to glare at me.
“This!” I throw his phone at him, aiming for his face…but I’m a terrible shot and it bounces off the pillow instead. “That!” I point to the phone, “THAT is what the fuck!”
He is laying in our bed amidst a tangle of crisp white sheets, he pulls his eyes away from me to stare up at the ceiling, making no attempt to even look at the phone. This tells me he knows exactly what I mean and doesn’t need to look.
I had been out having dinner with some friends, the night stretched a little later than I had anticipated, and when I returned home Justin was already asleep. I had decided to make a cup of tea, have a quick shower, and then crawl into bed next to him. But as I waited for the water to boil I heard the sound of Justin’s cell vibrating against the counter.
I hadn’t really meant to invade his privacy, but its second nature to look at a phone when it rings. My stomach knotted painfully as I read the text in the kitchen that suddenly seemed to be closing in on me.
“Had a great time! You were amazing! Come and see me the next time you’re in town, I’m not finished with you yet. :)”
I don’t even remember going to him. One minute I was in the kitchen the next I was in our room, kicking him cruelly with my stiletto.
“Who is she Justin?” I fight to stay in control, but rage seethes inside of me, causing me to shake violently.
He remains silent, still staring at that goddamn ceiling.
“Who the fuck is she?” The words burst from me with a scream.
“She was nobody Haley!” He yells, finally turning to look at me. “Just a girl, she managed to get backstage somehow after the show in Detroit.”
I know that’s a lie…no one just ‘manages’ to get backstage. And even if they did, they certainly can’t just ‘manage’ to get to Justin.
“You’re a fucking liar…” I am nearing a frightening level of anger. “Did you fuck her? Did you? Did you fuck her Justin? Did you fucking fuck her?” I am screaming and out of control, but too hysterical to care.
“Yes!” He yells back at me, throwing back the sheets. “I fucked her okay! But that was all it was Haley, just fucking. Just sex!”
I watch him rise from the bed, he wears nothing, and even through my anger I am unable to pull my eyes away from him as he yanks his jeans on.
I stand completely still as his confession sinks in, my heart breaks into a million little pieces as I picture his hands moving over her body, his lips against a neck that isn’t mine…did he moan her name the way he does mine? Did he trail her back with soft sweeping kisses like he does mine? Did he think of her last night when we…my head swims with horrifying images.
I want to kill him. I want to tear him apart with my bare hands. I want him to hurt the way I do.
“How could you?” I scream, the tears I had been fighting finally streaming down my cheeks.
“Haley! It was just sex okay? It’s really not that big of a deal!” Is he fucking kidding me?
I grab the jewelry box that sits on my dresser stuffed with gifts from him and throw it at him. Practice really does make perfect I guess because this time it hits him. Bouncing off his shoulder with an audible bang as dozens of rings, bracelets and necklaces explode out of it.
“Jesus Haley! What the hell is wrong with you?”
I grab the lamp out of its place next to the jewelry box’s empty spot and throw it at him in response. It shatters against the wall, inches from his head.
He ducks away and then straightens slowly, “Calm the fuck down Haley…right now! Calm down.”
“Fuck you!” There is nothing else to throw within reach so I rip my right shoe off and send it flying and then do the same with my left.
He rushes at me in a flash trying to grab my hands and hold them still as I flail wildly, slapping and clawing at him. But I am insane with fury and he isn’t able to overpower me as easily as he normally is.
“I hate you!” I explode. “I fucking hate you Justin…how could you do this to me? I hate you!” My eyes blur with fresh tears as our struggle continues.
He slams me into the wall and holds my arms still, so I swing my legs with fierce kicks until he manages to stop them as well.
The minute I am still, I lose it completely, distraught sobs racking my body.
“She was nothing Haley…” He buries his face in the crook of my neck, dragging his lips and tongue along my skin gently.
“Stop!” I wail, “Don’t touch me…don’t fucking touch me!”
But he ignores me and keeps going. I want him to hurt too, want him to feel what I’m feeling and in an instant I realize I know exactly how to do that.
“Do you think you’re the only one Justin?” I hiss. “I’ve done it too you know.”
He pulls back to look at me…his eyes are narrowed and hard. “What?”
“Twice.” I nod my head towards the bed. “Once right over there in our bed when you were gone. You should have seen the things I let him do to me Justin.” I moan a little as if remembering.
“No you didn’t.” His voice is quiet.
“What?” I act as though I don’t know what he’s so worked up about. “It was just sex right? Just fucking?” I bite down on my lip and let my eyes drift closed for a moment, “But Justin…” I look him right in the eye and his grip tightens painfully around my wrists, “Haley…” his tone is warning but I can’t stop.
“It was so fucking good.” I sigh with pleasure.
A horrible roar of sorrow and rage erupts from him as he punches a hole through the wall next to my head. I jump and cry out with fear in spite of myself.
“You fucking bitch!” He pulls me away from the wall and then slams me back against it again and again. Each slam more forceful than the last.
“Tell me what you did with her!” I shriek. “Was she good Justin? Was she? Did you fuck her like you fuck me? Did she make you cum?” I am overcome with the need to know every horrible detail.
He jerks me away from the wall, but says nothing and drags me to the bed. I fight against him, kicking at anything that’s close enough to kick. “Let me go! I’m leaving!”
“No you’re not.” He slams me down on the bed, grabs his phone off of the pillow and throws it at the window. Shattered glass rains into the room. “I told you she was fucking nothing…how could you fuck someone in our bed? You fucking whore! How could you fuck him in our bed?” Now he is the one who is out of his mind and I am afraid.
He grabs my face in his hand, squeezing mercilessly and kisses me deeply. “Did you suck his dick Haley?” he demands in a nasty, teasing voice. “Did you let him put his fucking cock in your mouth?” The teasing is gone now, vanishing as quickly as it came…now it is only anger I hear.
“Did you Justin?” I arch my back, trying unsuccessfully to push him off. “Did you let her put your cock in her mouth?”
He slaps the side of my mouth just hard enough to sting, “Shut your fucking mouth about her Haley…I told you she doesn’t matter!”
“She does matter!” I scream, fresh tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. “She’s the reason I hate you! Look what you did Justin! I hate you!”
“What about you Haley?” He has let go of my face and is pulling and ripping at my shirt, sending buttons popping across the bed. He tugs roughly at my bra, freeing my breasts and immediately draws a nipple into his mouth. Biting down viciously as he brushes his tongue against it. “You let him fuck you in our bed you stupid bitch!” He anger flares even stronger as he pictures it again.“Was it worth it?”
I imagine him fucking her, and with unimaginable cruelty I sneer, “It was so worth it Justin…he blew my fucking mind.”
He growls through gritted teeth and shoves my face to the side and down into the sheets, holding me in place with agonizing pressure. I cry out in pain and try to claw his hand away but his strength and outrage make it impossible.
He brings his lips to my ear and whispers, “Does it hurt?”
A sob is my response. He takes my earlobe between his teeth and tugs gently, “This is nothing…I’m going to bring her here Haley…and I’m going to fuck her in our bed all goddamn night and you…you Haley are going to watch me. How’s that for hurt?”
I feel sick at the thought of it. And yesterday I wouldn’t have thought him capable of such wickedness, but the look in his eyes tells me he absolutely is.
With that, he yanks my skirt up over my hips and jerks at my panties, ripping them off with one hard pull causing the lace to burn against my flesh…all the while holding me down firmly with the flat of his hand.
“You’re a little cock slut aren’t you? A fucking whore who can’t go without for even a few days while I’m gone…So that’s what you’re going to get.”
I am suddenly drunk with desire for him. I want him to have his way with me and forget about her. I want him to do whatever he wants to me. I want to erase her.
He slams into me with a single violent thrust. The air rushes from my lungs in surprise as he drives into me with brutal, savage strength. I cry out with distress and pain.
“Aww, come on now Haley…” he spits the words with spiteful anger. “A whore like you loves it rough…no need to pretend.
But as soon as the words are out of his mouth a mournful sigh spills from him.
“Tell me it’s a lie Haley…” I can’t see his face, but I hear the tears in his voice. Even so, he continues pounding into viciously.
“Haley! Tell me it’s a lie…please tell me it’s a fucking lie!” He has grown frantic.
I can barely move my head under the weight of his hand, but I manage a tight nod…admitting my lie.
He begins to roll his hips against my hardened clit as he fucks me. My moans of pleasure grow louder, but are still muffled by the sheets tangled around me.
His hateful words are gone, but the hateful bangs of his cock remain.
I flush with the orgasm that is beginning to rise inside of me, my soft moans are taken over by screams of “Justin”. His grow louder as well as he listens to his name slip past my lips over and over.
He calls my name with an impassioned groan, and I feel the warmth of him as he releases inside of me. Seconds later I’m cumming…my blissful euphoria causing everything but Justin to disappear.
Our bodies calm and ease into each other, and we remain this way for what seems like a long time until Justin finally whispers, “It didn’t happen Haley…I didn’t sleep with her.”
But I know right away he is lying and my heart breaks all over again.
“What the fuck Haley?” He snaps in a sleep filled voice, rolling over on the bed to glare at me.
“This!” I throw his phone at him, aiming for his face…but I’m a terrible shot and it bounces off the pillow instead. “That!” I point to the phone, “THAT is what the fuck!”
He is laying in our bed amidst a tangle of crisp white sheets, he pulls his eyes away from me to stare up at the ceiling, making no attempt to even look at the phone. This tells me he knows exactly what I mean and doesn’t need to look.
I had been out having dinner with some friends, the night stretched a little later than I had anticipated, and when I returned home Justin was already asleep. I had decided to make a cup of tea, have a quick shower, and then crawl into bed next to him. But as I waited for the water to boil I heard the sound of Justin’s cell vibrating against the counter.
I hadn’t really meant to invade his privacy, but its second nature to look at a phone when it rings. My stomach knotted painfully as I read the text in the kitchen that suddenly seemed to be closing in on me.
“Had a great time! You were amazing! Come and see me the next time you’re in town, I’m not finished with you yet. :)”
I don’t even remember going to him. One minute I was in the kitchen the next I was in our room, kicking him cruelly with my stiletto.
“Who is she Justin?” I fight to stay in control, but rage seethes inside of me, causing me to shake violently.
He remains silent, still staring at that goddamn ceiling.
“Who the fuck is she?” The words burst from me with a scream.
“She was nobody Haley!” He yells, finally turning to look at me. “Just a girl, she managed to get backstage somehow after the show in Detroit.”
I know that’s a lie…no one just ‘manages’ to get backstage. And even if they did, they certainly can’t just ‘manage’ to get to Justin.
“You’re a fucking liar…” I am nearing a frightening level of anger. “Did you fuck her? Did you? Did you fuck her Justin? Did you fucking fuck her?” I am screaming and out of control, but too hysterical to care.
“Yes!” He yells back at me, throwing back the sheets. “I fucked her okay! But that was all it was Haley, just fucking. Just sex!”
I watch him rise from the bed, he wears nothing, and even through my anger I am unable to pull my eyes away from him as he yanks his jeans on.
I stand completely still as his confession sinks in, my heart breaks into a million little pieces as I picture his hands moving over her body, his lips against a neck that isn’t mine…did he moan her name the way he does mine? Did he trail her back with soft sweeping kisses like he does mine? Did he think of her last night when we…my head swims with horrifying images.
I want to kill him. I want to tear him apart with my bare hands. I want him to hurt the way I do.
“How could you?” I scream, the tears I had been fighting finally streaming down my cheeks.
“Haley! It was just sex okay? It’s really not that big of a deal!” Is he fucking kidding me?
I grab the jewelry box that sits on my dresser stuffed with gifts from him and throw it at him. Practice really does make perfect I guess because this time it hits him. Bouncing off his shoulder with an audible bang as dozens of rings, bracelets and necklaces explode out of it.
“Jesus Haley! What the hell is wrong with you?”
I grab the lamp out of its place next to the jewelry box’s empty spot and throw it at him in response. It shatters against the wall, inches from his head.
He ducks away and then straightens slowly, “Calm the fuck down Haley…right now! Calm down.”
“Fuck you!” There is nothing else to throw within reach so I rip my right shoe off and send it flying and then do the same with my left.
He rushes at me in a flash trying to grab my hands and hold them still as I flail wildly, slapping and clawing at him. But I am insane with fury and he isn’t able to overpower me as easily as he normally is.
“I hate you!” I explode. “I fucking hate you Justin…how could you do this to me? I hate you!” My eyes blur with fresh tears as our struggle continues.
He slams me into the wall and holds my arms still, so I swing my legs with fierce kicks until he manages to stop them as well.
The minute I am still, I lose it completely, distraught sobs racking my body.
“She was nothing Haley…” He buries his face in the crook of my neck, dragging his lips and tongue along my skin gently.
“Stop!” I wail, “Don’t touch me…don’t fucking touch me!”
But he ignores me and keeps going. I want him to hurt too, want him to feel what I’m feeling and in an instant I realize I know exactly how to do that.
“Do you think you’re the only one Justin?” I hiss. “I’ve done it too you know.”
He pulls back to look at me…his eyes are narrowed and hard. “What?”
“Twice.” I nod my head towards the bed. “Once right over there in our bed when you were gone. You should have seen the things I let him do to me Justin.” I moan a little as if remembering.
“No you didn’t.” His voice is quiet.
“What?” I act as though I don’t know what he’s so worked up about. “It was just sex right? Just fucking?” I bite down on my lip and let my eyes drift closed for a moment, “But Justin…” I look him right in the eye and his grip tightens painfully around my wrists, “Haley…” his tone is warning but I can’t stop.
“It was so fucking good.” I sigh with pleasure.
A horrible roar of sorrow and rage erupts from him as he punches a hole through the wall next to my head. I jump and cry out with fear in spite of myself.
“You fucking bitch!” He pulls me away from the wall and then slams me back against it again and again. Each slam more forceful than the last.
“Tell me what you did with her!” I shriek. “Was she good Justin? Was she? Did you fuck her like you fuck me? Did she make you cum?” I am overcome with the need to know every horrible detail.
He jerks me away from the wall, but says nothing and drags me to the bed. I fight against him, kicking at anything that’s close enough to kick. “Let me go! I’m leaving!”
“No you’re not.” He slams me down on the bed, grabs his phone off of the pillow and throws it at the window. Shattered glass rains into the room. “I told you she was fucking nothing…how could you fuck someone in our bed? You fucking whore! How could you fuck him in our bed?” Now he is the one who is out of his mind and I am afraid.
He grabs my face in his hand, squeezing mercilessly and kisses me deeply. “Did you suck his dick Haley?” he demands in a nasty, teasing voice. “Did you let him put his fucking cock in your mouth?” The teasing is gone now, vanishing as quickly as it came…now it is only anger I hear.
“Did you Justin?” I arch my back, trying unsuccessfully to push him off. “Did you let her put your cock in her mouth?”
He slaps the side of my mouth just hard enough to sting, “Shut your fucking mouth about her Haley…I told you she doesn’t matter!”
“She does matter!” I scream, fresh tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. “She’s the reason I hate you! Look what you did Justin! I hate you!”
“What about you Haley?” He has let go of my face and is pulling and ripping at my shirt, sending buttons popping across the bed. He tugs roughly at my bra, freeing my breasts and immediately draws a nipple into his mouth. Biting down viciously as he brushes his tongue against it. “You let him fuck you in our bed you stupid bitch!” He anger flares even stronger as he pictures it again.“Was it worth it?”
I imagine him fucking her, and with unimaginable cruelty I sneer, “It was so worth it Justin…he blew my fucking mind.”
He growls through gritted teeth and shoves my face to the side and down into the sheets, holding me in place with agonizing pressure. I cry out in pain and try to claw his hand away but his strength and outrage make it impossible.
He brings his lips to my ear and whispers, “Does it hurt?”
A sob is my response. He takes my earlobe between his teeth and tugs gently, “This is nothing…I’m going to bring her here Haley…and I’m going to fuck her in our bed all goddamn night and you…you Haley are going to watch me. How’s that for hurt?”
I feel sick at the thought of it. And yesterday I wouldn’t have thought him capable of such wickedness, but the look in his eyes tells me he absolutely is.
With that, he yanks my skirt up over my hips and jerks at my panties, ripping them off with one hard pull causing the lace to burn against my flesh…all the while holding me down firmly with the flat of his hand.
“You’re a little cock slut aren’t you? A fucking whore who can’t go without for even a few days while I’m gone…So that’s what you’re going to get.”
I am suddenly drunk with desire for him. I want him to have his way with me and forget about her. I want him to do whatever he wants to me. I want to erase her.
He slams into me with a single violent thrust. The air rushes from my lungs in surprise as he drives into me with brutal, savage strength. I cry out with distress and pain.
“Aww, come on now Haley…” he spits the words with spiteful anger. “A whore like you loves it rough…no need to pretend.
But as soon as the words are out of his mouth a mournful sigh spills from him.
“Tell me it’s a lie Haley…” I can’t see his face, but I hear the tears in his voice. Even so, he continues pounding into viciously.
“Haley! Tell me it’s a lie…please tell me it’s a fucking lie!” He has grown frantic.
I can barely move my head under the weight of his hand, but I manage a tight nod…admitting my lie.
He begins to roll his hips against my hardened clit as he fucks me. My moans of pleasure grow louder, but are still muffled by the sheets tangled around me.
His hateful words are gone, but the hateful bangs of his cock remain.
I flush with the orgasm that is beginning to rise inside of me, my soft moans are taken over by screams of “Justin”. His grow louder as well as he listens to his name slip past my lips over and over.
He calls my name with an impassioned groan, and I feel the warmth of him as he releases inside of me. Seconds later I’m cumming…my blissful euphoria causing everything but Justin to disappear.
Our bodies calm and ease into each other, and we remain this way for what seems like a long time until Justin finally whispers, “It didn’t happen Haley…I didn’t sleep with her.”
But I know right away he is lying and my heart breaks all over again.