What is a fix? What is a tweak? It is someone else's opinion, consideration, their view of what a game should have been. Yet it is not the finished, approved product. The intentions of others are massive, and if you subscribe to them, like I have been, you spend more time, fixing and tweaking then actually adventuring. It is why I have yet to ever see beyond the borders of Saradush or Targos, why I have never entered Curst, why I have yet to enter Luskan, and why I have never seen the mines of Cloakwood. That stops now. I no longer care about the best or easiest or simplified experience, having never completed these adventures, I must become a purist. Gigs creep ever higher and this old thoroughbred struggles under the load, it is bad enough I am a download addict as well. I seem to spend more time watching meters complete, installs finish than actually enjoying what I have obtained, and that is a shame, for it defys my philosophy of living it up and enjoying as much of x as you can. Whatever, wherever, whoever x happens to be. Fun is the primary reason for life, for without pleasure, where is purpose? Without the ability to relax and unwind and take a step back, where is the full perspective, the reason to grind away in the first place? It is lost, as the blind rushtard zombie horde has proven well. These are self disasters, not nations. So it is well past time I stopped reading, slavering over the massive potential and sky shattering worlds others have crafted. Even pieces of those worlds screech system to a halt - assertion lines occur soon after successful launches, only my endless tinkering obsession is to blame, and I have more worthy obsessions to feed. I do not disrespect the skilled crafters of these marvelous, lasting projects, that have made monuments on the backbones of these published titans, but I have reinstalled too often to know, painfully, that I am gnawing more than I can swallow, and that must stop, or my adventures will never reach the epic conclusions I hunger to witness. I can't stop on the custom nwn1 modules, there is so much of Faerun, so much. but when an ie engine creeps near 6 gb, you know you are doing something wrong. Yes, the megasuperwhore mods clock in at 50 gigs, maybe someday on something just a bit more powerful, but not this day. Since I have not even seen the length and breadth of the REGULAR worlds, I should probably start there.
There are exceptions I make, personal preferences I find essential, but tastes vary, and I have no inclination to spell them out, here or anywhere. I am an antisocial, and what I do keeps me further away, more dismissive, more detached. Gandhi is a fool for saying he can not escape from the most savage soul. We are social creatures, society and scinazi spout, but I am a creature of the night, a predator of winter, a soul of detachment. I am Detachment. I am Isolation. I am Scorn. The only evil attached to me is what bubbles up from my own soul, the fibers of void threaded with the cords of light, the struggle in every person, a concept that alignment illustrates, but can not fully explain.