PARENTAL MALPRACTICE IN THE 'HOOD. © 2017
Why do Blacks continue to
avoid dealing with this issue?
“All virtues and vices
start in the home.”
Maya Angelou
Black leaders are very good at talking about the problems affecting the black community. When you listen to them, they will blame society, the government, Trump, Republicans, the Tea Party, the police, and whatever bogeyman of the month there might be. The way some of them see it, unemployment, poor schools, low achievement, failing cities, and crime are the result of external factors visited upon Blacks.
To be fair, there’s a smidgen of truth in what they say. But just a smidgen. Black “leaders” have been making that argument for over 50 years, but how well has that argument been working for us? Not very well.
But few so-called black leaders will talk about the negative effects bad parenting has had on the black community and its desire to make progress. Be it crime, unemployment, school drop-out rates, student achievements, the neighborhoods, whatever, the quality of parental plays a role.
If our race is going to advance beyond where we are, it’s time we stopped focusing on the symptoms and finally start looking at the roots of the problems we face. This should have been done decades ago—but late is better than never.
In every urban city in America, you’re going to see the same social and economic ills. Some of those ills can be attributed to structural inequalities--yes. However, it would be self-deceiving and a disservice to the truth to attribute most of those ills to society itself.
Just as immigrants can come to the United States, often speaking little or no English, and yet realize the American dream in short order, African Americans can do the same thing.
In fact, back in the day, thousands of African Americans migrated from the South to the North, and they excelled. But, unlike the 1960s and before, most black leaders today have focused on portraying us as pitiful victims. Some of them believe we cannot do anything unless it’s approved by Whites. Some of us also have been conditioned to believe we are permanent victims.
But African Americans are as capable as anyone else. The same people who produced Martin Luther King, Jr., Berry Gordy, Jr., Oprah Winfrey, Thurgood Marshall, Spike Lee, Colin Powell, Stevie Wonder, Mae Jemison, Alex Haley, Sidney Poitier, Maya Angelou, Maynard Jackson, Kathy Hughes, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Neil de Grasse Tyson, and others, can produce future greats and near greats.
`
Each of those African Americans was raised during a time when character mattered. Then, black parents made sure character and a premium on education were taught. If results count, you can’t say black parents are doing that today.
Today, too many black parents, single parents, or two parents, act more like friends or homies to their children than parents. This is “Parental Malpractice.” Let’s look at some examples of Parental Malpractice.
Failure to teach their children:
• A passion for learning
• Respect for others
• Not to take what doesn’t belong to you
• How to manage their anger
• Respect for human life.
• The virtues of delayed gratification and the perils of instant gratification.
• You should work for something if you want it.
• Any male can make a baby, but taking care of a baby is what makes a man.
• Choose your lovers carefully. If he’s not taking care of other children, he won’t take care of yours.
In most urban areas you see too many reminders of how parents are failing their children. You see children hanging out into the wee hours of the morning often committing crimes, and the parent doesn’t seem to have a clue.
Some black parents will tell their young boys, who haven’t even finished high school and who have no skills, that they’re the “man of the house.” If a young boy with no skills has been told he is the man of the house, his only way of proving that is to bring in money. With no skills, the only way he can bring in money is to commit crimes. These parents could unknowingly be encouraging their boys to commit crimes.
However, rather than telling a young boy he is the man of the house, perhaps black parents should stress the importance of education more. His future would be so much brighter. Sure America has its problems, but Booker T. Washington once said: “We must not allow our grievances to overshadow our opportunities.”
Parents, whether it’s a single parent, or two parents, must teach morality and values to their children. That would be good for the child, and it would be good for the black community itself.
Right now, it is the black community that suffers the most from parental malpractice. You see it in carjackings, anti-social behavior, rapes, robberies, and much more. People who have been taught values rarely carjack, rob or rape. Like Maya Angelou said, “All virtues and vices start in the home.
Why do Blacks continue to
avoid dealing with this issue?
“All virtues and vices
start in the home.”
Maya Angelou
Black leaders are very good at talking about the problems affecting the black community. When you listen to them, they will blame society, the government, Trump, Republicans, the Tea Party, the police, and whatever bogeyman of the month there might be. The way some of them see it, unemployment, poor schools, low achievement, failing cities, and crime are the result of external factors visited upon Blacks.
To be fair, there’s a smidgen of truth in what they say. But just a smidgen. Black “leaders” have been making that argument for over 50 years, but how well has that argument been working for us? Not very well.
But few so-called black leaders will talk about the negative effects bad parenting has had on the black community and its desire to make progress. Be it crime, unemployment, school drop-out rates, student achievements, the neighborhoods, whatever, the quality of parental plays a role.
If our race is going to advance beyond where we are, it’s time we stopped focusing on the symptoms and finally start looking at the roots of the problems we face. This should have been done decades ago—but late is better than never.
In every urban city in America, you’re going to see the same social and economic ills. Some of those ills can be attributed to structural inequalities--yes. However, it would be self-deceiving and a disservice to the truth to attribute most of those ills to society itself.
Just as immigrants can come to the United States, often speaking little or no English, and yet realize the American dream in short order, African Americans can do the same thing.
In fact, back in the day, thousands of African Americans migrated from the South to the North, and they excelled. But, unlike the 1960s and before, most black leaders today have focused on portraying us as pitiful victims. Some of them believe we cannot do anything unless it’s approved by Whites. Some of us also have been conditioned to believe we are permanent victims.
But African Americans are as capable as anyone else. The same people who produced Martin Luther King, Jr., Berry Gordy, Jr., Oprah Winfrey, Thurgood Marshall, Spike Lee, Colin Powell, Stevie Wonder, Mae Jemison, Alex Haley, Sidney Poitier, Maya Angelou, Maynard Jackson, Kathy Hughes, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Neil de Grasse Tyson, and others, can produce future greats and near greats.
`
Each of those African Americans was raised during a time when character mattered. Then, black parents made sure character and a premium on education were taught. If results count, you can’t say black parents are doing that today.
Today, too many black parents, single parents, or two parents, act more like friends or homies to their children than parents. This is “Parental Malpractice.” Let’s look at some examples of Parental Malpractice.
Failure to teach their children:
• A passion for learning
• Respect for others
• Not to take what doesn’t belong to you
• How to manage their anger
• Respect for human life.
• The virtues of delayed gratification and the perils of instant gratification.
• You should work for something if you want it.
• Any male can make a baby, but taking care of a baby is what makes a man.
• Choose your lovers carefully. If he’s not taking care of other children, he won’t take care of yours.
In most urban areas you see too many reminders of how parents are failing their children. You see children hanging out into the wee hours of the morning often committing crimes, and the parent doesn’t seem to have a clue.
Some black parents will tell their young boys, who haven’t even finished high school and who have no skills, that they’re the “man of the house.” If a young boy with no skills has been told he is the man of the house, his only way of proving that is to bring in money. With no skills, the only way he can bring in money is to commit crimes. These parents could unknowingly be encouraging their boys to commit crimes.
However, rather than telling a young boy he is the man of the house, perhaps black parents should stress the importance of education more. His future would be so much brighter. Sure America has its problems, but Booker T. Washington once said: “We must not allow our grievances to overshadow our opportunities.”
Parents, whether it’s a single parent, or two parents, must teach morality and values to their children. That would be good for the child, and it would be good for the black community itself.
Right now, it is the black community that suffers the most from parental malpractice. You see it in carjackings, anti-social behavior, rapes, robberies, and much more. People who have been taught values rarely carjack, rob or rape. Like Maya Angelou said, “All virtues and vices start in the home.