Venting about Kaiya Mayfire.... Yet again!

Letting go of someone is never easy, especially under circumstances that could have been handled much better in my opinion. Do I regret getting too involved with a cam model who is happily married and ended up having feelings for her? Of course, I do.

I still deeply regret destroying my own friendship with her even though she thinks otherwise. This certain model thinks that I'm a stalker just because I added her name to a message that I shouldn't have added to her name to, and things just fell apart from there and she has absolutely refused to accept my apology and thinks that I have mental disorders which is a load of shit, and wants me to go to jail for stalking her which is also an absolute load of shit!

And this past Saturday, she verbally took a shit all over our friendship that we had by telling people in her cam room things about me that aren't even true and that she is sick of my "obsessive novels" which have been nothing more than me trying to explain things to her which she has absolutely refused to even read and has even said that she was going to get an arrest warrant.

Ok, first of all, you can't get an arrest warrant for somebody if you don't go to the police and prove to them that somebody is legit cyberstalking you and is afraid for their very life as well as other things that I don't quite understand since I'm not very knowledgeable about the law. Secondly, if you are using you're first amendment right of free speech like trying to reason with somebody who just doesn't want to listen for whatever reason, you can't go to jail and be charged with a misdemeanor or a felony by trying to settle you're differences with somebody.

She has also threatened to call the cops on me numerous times as well as take out a restraining order on me but hasn't even done so and I think that she has done these things just to intimidate me and scare me which has ended up working on her behalf.

When you have known somebody for a year and 3 months, and that person decides to shit all over it after everything that I have done for this person and everything that has happened, it just shows me that she really wasn't worth being my online friend at all! She doesn't want to hear me out or whatever, that's her own fault. But she really needs to wake the fuck up and realize that she is at fault for what she has done just as much as I am for my part in everything that has happened since a good chunk of it was my own fault!

Do I wish that this person would reach out to me so that we can settle our differences? You bet, but I highly doubt that's ever going to happen after all of the damage that I have done unfortunately.

I don't even know why I still give a shit or am still talking about this person. I guess it's because the wounds are still fresh and haven't had the proper time to heal yet. We have both burned all of our bridges which isn't how I wanted things to end, but there's nothing I can do about it now except to keep moving forward and move on with my life.