Interview With a Robot
October 9th, 2015
Author: Tom Tiede
(An interview with a mechanical or virtual artificial agent.)
Interviewer: “Thank you for seeing me. May I call you Mr. Robot?”
Mr. Robot: “Beep.”
I: I’m here to talk about the growing worry in the world that robots and automated processes are taking over many of the duties once held by people.”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “For instance, it’s been estimated that more than 7 million jobs in America have been lost to machines in the last decade. And perhaps fifty percent of the rest may be gone by 2050.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “You don’t believe that?”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep, beep.”
I: “Seventy-five percent?”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “That’s awful.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “Well, all right – it’s not awful if you’re a robot. Still, it’s alarming. I’m a writer and now there are programs that do the same thing. The Associated Press has a mechanism that can write news, and does so every day. Technically, it can produce 1,000 articles every second.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “Okay, 2,000, which is even worse.”
Mr. R: “Beep?!!”
I: “That’s easy for you to say. The fact is, all kinds of writing software is emerging. One IT group says that it has already published more than 250,000 automatically written books.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep, beep.”
I: “Right, ‘War & Peace II’ is next. Very funny. You do comedy too?”
Mr. R: “Peeb!”
I: “This is not a laughing matter. I read that ‘cloud robotics’ is being developed and, in time, you and yours will be able to teach one another, eliminating people altogether.”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “And then there is the ‘deep learning’ notion, where machines will be able to download a library full of informational data in a few minutes”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “It means robotics will surpass living intelligence.”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “After that machines will start assuming command.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “They will run for political office.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep, beep, beep.”
I: “Well, yes, that part of it could be an improvement.”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “But the thing is, we’re talking about the human race here; whole families, obsolete. First the handloom weavers were replaced by sewing machines, the carriage drivers by Fords, field hands by tractors – now it’s everywhere, everywhere. Don’t you have any pity?”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “See? That’s another thing. Robots have no feelings, no heart.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “Yes, I know you have transistors. It’s not the same. How many times have you felt compassion, exercised emotion or shed a tear?
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “I rest my case.”
Mr. R: “Weep.”
I: “You’re a riot, pal. But I see my time is up. Thank you for talking with me.”
Mr. R: “Will this interview go viral?”
I: “Hey, you speak English!”
Mr. R: “Beep :)”
October 9th, 2015
Author: Tom Tiede
(An interview with a mechanical or virtual artificial agent.)
Interviewer: “Thank you for seeing me. May I call you Mr. Robot?”
Mr. Robot: “Beep.”
I: I’m here to talk about the growing worry in the world that robots and automated processes are taking over many of the duties once held by people.”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “For instance, it’s been estimated that more than 7 million jobs in America have been lost to machines in the last decade. And perhaps fifty percent of the rest may be gone by 2050.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “You don’t believe that?”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep, beep.”
I: “Seventy-five percent?”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “That’s awful.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “Well, all right – it’s not awful if you’re a robot. Still, it’s alarming. I’m a writer and now there are programs that do the same thing. The Associated Press has a mechanism that can write news, and does so every day. Technically, it can produce 1,000 articles every second.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “Okay, 2,000, which is even worse.”
Mr. R: “Beep?!!”
I: “That’s easy for you to say. The fact is, all kinds of writing software is emerging. One IT group says that it has already published more than 250,000 automatically written books.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep, beep.”
I: “Right, ‘War & Peace II’ is next. Very funny. You do comedy too?”
Mr. R: “Peeb!”
I: “This is not a laughing matter. I read that ‘cloud robotics’ is being developed and, in time, you and yours will be able to teach one another, eliminating people altogether.”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “And then there is the ‘deep learning’ notion, where machines will be able to download a library full of informational data in a few minutes”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “It means robotics will surpass living intelligence.”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “After that machines will start assuming command.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “They will run for political office.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep, beep, beep.”
I: “Well, yes, that part of it could be an improvement.”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “But the thing is, we’re talking about the human race here; whole families, obsolete. First the handloom weavers were replaced by sewing machines, the carriage drivers by Fords, field hands by tractors – now it’s everywhere, everywhere. Don’t you have any pity?”
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “See? That’s another thing. Robots have no feelings, no heart.”
Mr. R: “Beep, beep.”
I: “Yes, I know you have transistors. It’s not the same. How many times have you felt compassion, exercised emotion or shed a tear?
Mr. R: “Beep.”
I: “I rest my case.”
Mr. R: “Weep.”
I: “You’re a riot, pal. But I see my time is up. Thank you for talking with me.”
Mr. R: “Will this interview go viral?”
I: “Hey, you speak English!”
Mr. R: “Beep :)”