Can someones whole life change within a week this drastically? I think to myself as I make my way out of the drug store. My phone is ringing for the millionth time today and I have the strong urge to ignore it once again but it’s Justin and I’ve already ignored the last 3 times he’s tried to call me.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t pick up earlier…I was kind of tied up.” it’s really hard to hide anything from him I think to myself as he rambles on…



“I was worried about you, you always answer my calls, is everything ok?”



Ha! Is everything ok... “Yeah I’m fine..I’m on my way home now, I had to stop at the store, I’m really tired today…my brain is fried.” I say to him hoping that he will get the hint that I just want to be left alone tonight, knowing damn well that he won’t.



”Oh ok well… I was just getting ready to leave the studio, I’ve been here all day.....are you sure everything is ok, you’ve been tired a lot lately?”



I sigh louder than I should and roll my eyes even though he can’t see me “Yeah Justin I’m fine, I’ll see you later then” I hang up before he can say anything else.


I find myself replaying today events as I sit on the couch and stare at the picture that sits in front of me...”I really just don’t understand how this can happen. I have taken my pill everyday faithfully for years”...the words keep playing in my mind over and over like a record skipping repeatedly...me telling the doctor it’s impossible and the doctor telling me it’s not....


”10 weeks? you have to be mistaken!” I hysterically said to him “I need to know my options at this point, please I can’t be...I can’t even say it!”


“Listen Bobbi, I know it’s a lot to take in but you’re options are becoming very limited at this point and...well if you’re going to do anything you have to do it soon or it’ll be too late.”


I must have sat on that table and cried for 40 minutes while Dr. Park tried to console me..
”Does the father know anything, do you know who he is?”



I snapped my head up “Yes I know who he is, I’m not like that!” he stammered and mumbled an apology. “It’s just very complicated as it is, this could ruin so many lives!” I’m snapped out of my recollection of today’s events when I hear him put his key in the door...I shove the picture and papers between the couch cushions.


“Hey babe” he says as he throws his keys on the table and sits down next to me.

******


I reach for her hand but she pulls away gently. "Is everything okay Bobbi?" I ask her.



"Yeah, fine...everything’s fine." she grabs the remote and flips the TV on, but it’s clear she isn't really watching it...she thinking about something.



She's been this way for days. "You sure?" I’m not letting this go.

"Yes! Fine! Everything’s fine." she's trying too hard to sound upbeat.

I drag my fingers along her thigh and lean in to brush the hair away from her neck. I sweep my lips against the skin just below her ear...this works every time. Except for today.

"Not now Justin." she snaps, moving away.

"See? Something’s wrong. Talk to me." I can't stand this.

"Justin!" her voice is angry, but I have no idea why.

"Just not right now alright?" she never does this, and though I wish I could just blow it off, I’m hurt. I already know how this will go, but I try again anyway.



"Come on..." I smile, "just a quick one? I’ve been thinking about you all day."



She jerks to the other end of the couch, "Dammit Justin I said no...just fucking stop okay!"



I slump back against the couch, the sting of rejection coursing through me. She relents right away, "I’m sorry Justin...I’m just...I’m just in a bad mood. It isn't your fault." she cradles her head in her hands and sighs.



I rub her back gently, and wait for her to tell me what’s bothering her. But instead, she stands..."I'll be back..."



I stretch out on the couch and my cell falls out of my pocket as i do, sinking in between the cushions. When I go to grab it, my hand brushes against a piece of paper, probably some mail she was opening or something...shes always forgetting & losing things. But when I pull it out, i realize right away that it isn't mail. I scan it quickly, and then my eyes go to the tiny black & white photograph that’s clipped to the paper. I know right away that this is the reason for her out of character behavior. "Oh my god..." i breathe quietly. I hear her return to the room and raise my eyes to hers. her eyes fly to my hand and the papers i am holding and then back to mine.



"Bobbi..." I shake my head in an attempt to process this, "are you pregnant?" She stands silent for a long time and then nods, "Yeah...i am."



"Where you going to tell me?"

I’m livid, how could she keep something like this from me? "Were you EVER going to fucking tell me? How long have you known?" my fist is still clenched around the papers, but I am careful not to bend the ultrasound picture. "I suspected in Aspen...but I just confirmed it today." she confesses as she stares over my shoulder.

"Look at me for Christ’s sake Bobbi! What the hell were you thinking? You've known since Aspen & I’m just now figuring it out! You didn't even tell me! I had to find a fucking picture in a couch!" "Look I’m sorry Justin...I really am, but given the situation I thought it would be best if..." "If what? If you waited until the contractions were 13 minutes apart?" "3 minutes Justin...its 3 minutes apart." she corrects. "Whatever! Is that how u were gonna handle this? Wait..." I’ve just realized what she has said. “What do you mean given the situation? I know it’s not ideal…but so what? What is?”

“Nothing is…nothing ever is.” She says sadly with tears creeping into her voice. I stand and go to her, “Hey…it’s okay…it’s going to be okay! This is a good thing!” I tilt her face up and smile at her.

“A good thing? Are you serious right now Justin?” She seems unable to believe that I’m not devastated.

“Yes I’m serious!” I place my hand on her stomach, trying to picture a little heart beating tucked away safely inside her… She brushes my hand away and goes back to the couch as the tears that I heard in her voice a moment ago finally begin to fall.



******

“I just can’t believe this happened...I take my pill every single day as soon as I wake up..I just..” why isn’t he freaking out the way I am?



“ Bobbi I don’t know but it did, it was obviously meant to happen, we can do this!” he must be crazy.



“ I can’t fucking do this Justin, I’m 8 goddamn years older than you and I can’t fucking do this!” I’m screaming and I can see he’s really starting to get pissed at me. “ I have to get out of here…”



He grabs my arm “You’re not going anywhere like this, we need to talk about this...why are you being like this way?”

I pull my arm away from him “ Why are YOU being a dreamer..this will end badly!”

“What do you mean this will end badly?” he’s pacing and throwing his arms around.

“Teen dad… yeah, that always works out Justin because there are so many couples that had babies as teenagers and are still together at their kids graduation....come on be realistic! Not even the fact that your age plays a big role in this but think about everything else...you’re not thinking!” He’s hurt by my remark I can tell but its true and he’s too blind or too naive to see it.

He pulls me in for a hug and kisses the top of my head “Listen, we can do this… I don’t care about anything else, if I quit my career today we and this baby would be set for life Bobbi, we would never have to worry!”

“You are talking crazy Justin, crazy! I would never ever let you do something like that...I refuse to ruin your life!” He grabs the paper off the coffee table “This will ruin nothing!” he says as he stares at the picture in his hand again “It’s a baby Bobbi, a baby is a blessing…this is my baby…how could u say this shit?

Look at it!” I turn my head away..I don’t want to look at it...I just want it to go away. “I said look at it!” he shouts and shoves it in my face. “Get it the fuck out of my face Justin! I already saw it…you’re not changing my mind about this!”

“What do you mean I’m not changing your mind about this?” he says, his eyes burning holes into mine. “I get that your upset ok but it will get better, you have to believe it will, we will get through this together!”

I laugh, “Are fucking serious? I thought you would agree with me about this!” He seems confused “I don’t get what you’re getting at Bobbi…what would I agree with you about exactly?” I shake my head and walk away from him ...he follows me into the kitchen, put his arms around my waist as he pulls my back to his chest “Hey I promise it’ll be ok please trust me.” he says as he rubs my stomach. I push his hands off me and snap around staring him dead in the eye, “I’m not keeping this baby Justin.” I scream.



*****

I can't believe what I’ve just heard, so I ask her to repeat it. Her answer is the same & it makes me sick.

"What the hell do you mean you're not keeping the baby? Of course we're keeping the baby!" I am enraged at the Very thought.

"No Justin...I’ve made up my mind." she says firmly. "There's no, I've made up my mind Bobbi! That’s my baby too!" I point to her stomach, "Don't u get that? It’s not just your decision!"



"The hell it isn’t Justin!" "You were going to do this without even telling me weren't you?" she remains silent, which is answer enough.



"Bobbi..." I calm myself. "I know you're scared. I am too...but this is a baby...our baby. A little piece of u and I and it belongs with us. I want to watch u rock our baby to sleep, I want to know if it will have your eyes or mine. I want to spoil it and love it and teach it every day…with you…I want this baby Bobbi...please don't do this."



"Justin, it’s not a fairytale." she whispers. "Why can't it be? Everything will be alright." I reach out and stroke her hair. She laughs bitterly,



"That’s what you keep telling me. What happens when they do the math Justin? I’ll tell you what happens, I got to jail! Don’t you get that? Hi! I’m Bobbi the sex offender, nice to meet you!" She says sarcastically.



I stare down at the blurry little picture and realize that I’m no further than I was 5 minutes ago...I want this...I want this with her. I’m not even afraid anymore, I feel like we've been given a gift...why can't she see it that way? Why does it always come back to our age gap? That doesn't matter...this baby, this little person who I already can't wait to meet is what matters. I search Bobbi’s face, looking for some sign that there’s even a little piece of her that feels the same way...but I don't find it